Let people learn their lesson

Sometimes, you must let people learn their lesson in life. Unfortunately, this is how they will ever learn the importance and transformative impact of intentionally choosing oneself. I know this is how I learned my biggest life lessons and fully integrated them. It may be very hard to stop interfering in your loved ones’ lives, especially when you clearly see their struggle and suffering. You may have tried several times to show them the way to save themselves. However, it’s their decision to make.

Most of the time, coming to their rescue every time they repeat the same harmful patterns enables them. The comfort they find every time you listen to them, keep covering their costs, do the work for them, make the calls for them, etc., is temporary. Temporary comfort fades into the repetition of the same behavior, leading to the same problems again. Let people learn their lesson, even if it pinches your heart to do so.

It does not mean you are abandoning them. To let people learn their lesson is quite the opposite. You are actually helping them, believe it or not. Their figuring things out on their own and solving their own problems will increase their level of self-confidence. It will also show them how empowering self-reliance is. Fighting for themselves to be better, to do better, or to live better is strengthening their life warrior muscle. They will grow, understanding the need to hold themselves accountable and push past the discomfort of facing their weaknesses.

You can still be by their side as they navigate the waves of facing themselves and their issues. Support can be shown through our presence, even if virtual, rather than carrying their load for them. At times, we may help them carry it with an encouraging or empowering message. But their load is not for you to carry.