Some parents still miss the point

Some parents still miss the point when their child expresses how what they said or did hurt them, and they minimize or dismiss it. The point is: your bond with your child is broken, and your child is attempting to repair it out of love and as a form of respect for the relationship and future interactions.

Be mindful of your reaction to your child sharing how you may have hurt them. It may either bring you closer or push them further away. If you care about having a healthy relationship that calms their nervous system, learn to actively listen to them without interrupting to defend yourself or blame them.

I know it may be quite uncomfortable to listen without defending yourself or dismissing them. However, it’s important to endure the temporary discomfort to help repair the bond. If they haven’t said so yet, you could ask them how they feel and what you could do to heal the relationship as well.

When your child brings up a past event, avoid saying that they remembered it wrong, and listen before sharing your own memories of the situation, because sometimes people don’t notice the impact others felt. Sometimes, we could be living the same situation, and each person’s experience of it is different. Sometimes, the intention of our actions differs from their impact on others. This is where having a bit of compassion during the conversation would be beneficial in repairing the relationship.

At times, dear parents, the point to not miss is that the child is looking for reasons not to cut you out of their life when they address a past hurt or wound. Be aware of that.